I'm Not weird. I'm Just an Introvert.
According to Myers Briggs, “the first pair of psychological preferences is Extraversion and Introversion,” (Martin 1997).
Extraversion and Introversion, terms used by Carl Jung, explain the different attitudes people use to direct their energy.
“Where do you put your attention and get your energy? Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?”
Introversion and extroversion fall on a scale. We all fall somewhere on that scale, some of us lean more towards making decisions as an introvert, and others leaning more towards the extrovert side. And some simply fall right in the middle; their choice to be an introvert or an extrovert is on a per situation basis.
But, nowadays, for some reason introversion is frowned upon. It’s something like a character flaw. Something that needs to be fixed. People assume that introverts are either stand-offish, disinterested, mean, etc. And while that may be the case for some, not all introverts have the intention to exude the negative connotations of the phrase “I’m an introvert.” And while extroversion is WILDLY favored in the Western Hemisphere, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with ‘us’ introverts. If you’re an introvert reading this just know, you’re not a bad person just because you prefer to be alone. Consider yourselves Rare. Refined. Exquisite. Unmatched.
So What Is Introversion?
Introverts tend to embrace the experience of being alone. We are naturally introspective, detail-oriented, analytical, and empathetic. We feel responsible for creating our own happiness. We don’t need a lot of hype and we don’t like overstimulation. And even when we love you, we’ll still look at your text and leave it “unread” and send you to voicemail.
Truth is, everyone needs moments of solitude to gather their thoughts, focus on something specific, etc. Those who don’t identify themselves as introverts could actually benefit from the, often unintentional, practices of quiet time, solitude, and clarity. The difference between an introvert needing solitude and an extrovert needing solitude is vastly different however. Whether introvert or extrovert, though, you need time alone to reflect and cultivate the most important relationship in your life: your relationship with yourself.
Am I an Introvert? Or am I Shy?
As someone who has studied introversion and embodies most of the norms associated with introversion, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use introversion and shyness synonymously. These two idioms are quite distinct, and not always characteristically connected. Here’s the difference:
Introversion is a preference. I prefer to recharge alone. I prefer to keep to myself in most social settings because people drain me. Interaction can be taxing on my mental state. I’m not afraid to be around people, I simply prefer not to.
Shyness is a fear. Being shy usually yields a fear to do something in the presence of others. However, shy individuals could very well still be out-going people, when around people they’re comfortable with.
Can introverts be shy? Yes. But it’s not an absolute.
What am I? I am an introvert. I am not shy. As a child, I used to be extremely shy, as well as an introvert. However, I believe that, that fear, for me, was simply a subconscious mechanism used so that the people around me would allow me to be my introverted self. For example: I DID NOT want to sing in the children’s choir. It was way too much attention on me. I hated wearing frilly dresses because it drew too much attention to my appearance. As a result, I would cry, hide behind my mom’s leg, throw a fit if they put a microphone in my face, etc. I just wanted to be left alone. And if you knew my family back then, my mom and my sister Vickie probably used those exact words when it came to me “Just leave her alone!” Le sigh, those were the days. LMBO
Adopting Extroverted Tendencies
Now, most of you reading this are probably thinking... “what? She’s not an introvert.” “She was so open when I met her.” Weelll, let me let you in on a little secret:
Introverts are capable of adopting extroverted tendencies simply to fit in and make life easier. Yes. We can put on a face for you extroverted humans and make you not feel so uncomfortable by our silence. Lol it’s a gift!! And guess what, we learned how to be like you, by sitting in silence and watching you!!! Truth is, some introverts may even enjoy coming out of their shell for a while, on occasion. But in general, being someone that you aren’t can be exhausting. And that, my friends, is where that solitary recharge comes in!!
How can you be so open in writing a Blog?
Great question. Writing and solitude often go hand in hand. Whether it be a private journal, or writing for an audience, writing is a record of focused intent, no matter how long or how short. Writing allows introverts to block out the noise and focus on their own thoughts.
See? Short quick. To the point.
There are a lot of people who use introversion as an excuse to be rude, distant and incapable of having proper communicative skills. But, that’s not who we really are. We are simply humans who need to be alone often in order to function in a group. For the non-introvert it can be difficult to understand because you all tend to need the noise to rejuvenate.
But, if we could all just take a little time to understand the traits of our opposites, we’d all be a little more patient. Relationships may last a little longer. And we’d know how to communicate with each other a little better.
I’ve attached a Myers Briggs personality assessment. It will tell you much more than whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert but take it, see where you fall on the scale of introversion and extroversion. And know, no matter where you land on the scale, you are perfectly imperfectly normal. #Embraceit ♥️
2014 results: INFJ-A
2018 results: ISTJ-A
*Individual traits: Introverted – 69%, Observant – 56%, Thinking – 65%, Judging – 89%, Assertive – 72%
Note: Judging does not mean judgmental 😂 I am simply more “judging” than “perceiving” meaning, I have a preference to be neat, orderly and established. Where as the perceiving type prefer flexibility and spontaneity.
Judgers want things settled. Perceivers want things open-ended.
Logisticians don’t make many assumptions, preferring instead to analyze their surroundings, check their facts and arrive at practical courses of action. Logistician personalities are no-nonsense, and when they’ve made a decision, they will relay the facts necessary to achieve their goal, expecting others to grasp the situation immediately and take action. Logisticians have little tolerance for indecisiveness, but lose patience even more quickly if their chosen course is challenged with impractical theories, especially if they ignore key details – if challenges becomes time-consuming debates, Logisticians can become noticeably angry as deadlines tick nearer.
When Logisticians say they are going to get something done, they do it, meeting their obligations no matter the personal cost, and they are baffled by people who don’t hold their own word in the same respect. Combining laziness and dishonesty is the quickest way to get on Logisticians’ bad side. Consequently, people with the Logistician personality type often prefer to work alone, or at least have their authority clearly established by hierarchy, where they can set and achieve their goals without debate or worry over other’s reliability...
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